Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize