Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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