He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
