Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
