tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
