Swine flu. Run for my life!
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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