Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
