Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
