she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I enjoy the company of your penis
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
