this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He did a backflip because drugs
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
