I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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