So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
PANTIES FOUND
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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