the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
