Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize