You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
