making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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