As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
