I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
