do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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