Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
