party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
