I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
it glows. i had to have it.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We were destined to go to rehab together
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
