White coat. Heels.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
