dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
