omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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