my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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