im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
