if you like me you must not know who I am
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I enjoy the company of your penis
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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