You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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