the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize