We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize