So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Randomize
