Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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