He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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