His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
