If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
