What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize