So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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