I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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