my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize