this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
