HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
