remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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