lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
