having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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