five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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