Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
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