is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Randomize
