just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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