so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......