Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up

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(419): View more from Ohio

Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(859): View more from Kentucky

there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context

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(856): View more from New Jersey

we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"

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(253): View more from Washington

I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.

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(714): View more from California

I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.

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