i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.