dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n