Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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