Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(803): View more from South Carolina

im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk

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(914): View more from New York

Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!

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(631): View more from New York

By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.

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(+64): View more from New Zealand

I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(317): View more from Indiana

I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink

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(562): View more from California

it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats

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(573): View more from Missouri

You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing

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(716): View more from New York

Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.

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