I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
