Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.