Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
