i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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