He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
