Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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