I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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