and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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