Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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