is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
