I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
