listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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