I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize