News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
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